Where the hell have I been??

Can you guess what the hell I've been doing???

I visited the land of Make~Believe where honeybees sing. I wandered thru the Valley of laughing hills and retro flowers. After a while I stumbled onto the ALL~KNOWING~TREE.

I knelt before it and bowed my head and asked the age old question.."Why am I here?..What was I meant to do in life?"

The eye of the tree pierced my soul, stabbing and mauling the deepest recesses of my being. All my failure, weakness and heartbreak played out before me like an old home movie, and then....there was silence. I sat silently and cried.

And then the ALL~KNOWING~TREE spoke to me with a hushed deep voice.."YOU are here to be you..all your failures make you stronger.. your heartbreaks teach you to love ...and your weakness is your strength"..

House in the Hood~ Bedroom

I love my bedroom! The room I love is painted an antique rose with fake flowers hanging on the wall and a huge king size bed smack dab in the middle..AND a very sturdy lock on the door. I'm going to miss this room the most.. sigh. This is the room that my wildest dreams came true..(in my sleep) and my worst nightmares came to life.. I have laughed, cried, dreamed and given up a relationship in this room. I have planned and replanned my life in this room...mauling over and over my life.. trying to figure out how I could totally fuck things up...and where to go from here. While I lay in bed ..I stare out my window and watch the couple across the street. Bastards apparently love each other..and have wonderful heart felt sex..( I know this because they do leave thier blinds open on occassion..and I watch..HEY!! wouldn't you?)...I hate them...lol..nah not really..Just envy anyone who has felt and lived thru a true love. I'm not talking about a "I Love to Fuck you love" ..I have had plenty of that shit..and certainly does not sustain me for very long...(am I right Lurch?)...But the love that makes you whole...So I quess I do a lot of soul searching in my bedroom...Its my last retreat..My great escape...and the couple across the street keep my entertained on so many levels.. I hope they never close those blinds..*wink

Never underestimate the power of your pussy

A good friend of mine passed away thursday. I have been reminicing about the times I spent with her..What an amazing women..

The year was 1987. I was seventeen and just started my first job at Sister Chicken and Biscuits. Dottie was the cashier. She was 48 and divorced and originally from Texas so she spoke with a smooth southern twang. She was elegantly tall at 5'11" 120 pounds and bleach blonde hair.She walked hunched over like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Dottie's style was from the 70's including the flip style hair. She chain smoked PALLMALL filterless...so her finger tips where nicotin stained and her face wrinkled and yellowed.

Some how we became friends. I don't know what it was ..but we both had a mutual respect for each other. I would visit her often at her apartment that was over the funeral home..(Seriously..:)

1987 was also the year I THOUGHT I had found my true love. HAHA well after a 5 month relationship ..he broke up with me...sigh..being the young stupid girl I was ..I was going to call him to try and get back together. Dottie caught wind of this and probably gave me the best advice in my life to this date. She said:

"NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF YOUR PUSSY "....

....I thought that was awesome..and never left my mind...I let the loser boyfriend go..a few years later ..I heard he weighed like 250 and unemployed....and did a stint in prison for drugs..haha..

So my Dear friend ..I hope you rest in peace and I will NEVER forget all your advice

Loves

Fucking for Fucks Sake

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 fucking for fucks sake..is not rolling with me

House in The Hood *Basement

(this image is inspired from my recent trip to the art museum)

(Yes Im sexually frustrated..guys just dont have a clue)

My basement is haunted. I have seen black shapes walk through walls..My hair has been pulled and something unseen has whispered my name into my ear. A friend who lived with me for a while REFUSED to go into the basement...she felt "Something was watching her"...

I shoot most of my self portraits in my basement. The lighting is horrendous down there...so my reasoning being...great practice to master lighting! Still haven't mastered lighting...but hey..Im having fun...

Leaving Home

I am leaving my home of 10 years. I am somewhat sad..but look forward to the the future:)..to remember the "House in the Hood"..I am going to photograph myself in each room. I have waited a long time to shoot in my front room...It's an extremely high use room..(kids and all)...BUT FINALLY...I had a private moment...sigh..love the images!..While I was shooting ..the mailman peeked into my window...he saw my goodies....BADBOY...

Image to feature my artwork....You see it right??...hummm..yes over to left!